


Save Yourself

by kribban



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Aftermath of Possession, Angelic Possession, Angels, Canon-Typical Violence, Case Fic, Child Abuse, Demonic Possession, Gen, Vessel Consent Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-07-15 07:11:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7212937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kribban/pseuds/kribban
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Somewhere in America, a rogue angel is on the run in the guise of a little girl. Troubled by the memories of her own possession, Claire Novak turns to Castiel for help tracking them. Together they follow the trail to a small town, hoping to save the girl before it’s too late.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my beta reader grey2510 and to my friend silversolitaire who has supported this story from the start.

Across the playground, past the swing sets and the climbing frame, Claire runs as fast as she can. The sun is slowly creeping down behind the hill where she knows her parents are waiting. A rock trips her up, but she regains her balance and continues her sprint. 

The picnic blanket is deserted. She calls out for her mother, for her father, screams until her voice is hoarse. There's no one left to answer her. 

 

_Three years earlier._

His father adjusted the collar of his coat and looked out the window again.”Yeah, it definitely touched down! Come on, bring your phone so you can take pictures.” 

”Dad, I think we should wait it out.” The meteorite shower had thinned out some, but Billy had no desire to push his luck. ”It's probably not safe yet,” he said in his most pleading tone. But it was too late: once his dad got excited about something, there was no stopping it. 

”Don't be stupid. The odds of two meteorites hitting the same area are next to nothing. Come on, let's go!”

With a sigh, Billy grabbed his jacket and followed his father. It was a bit chilly for late May and he pulled the zipper all the way up. The cows looked up hopefully when they hurried past, mooing softly even though they'd already been fed for the night. 

A couple hundred yards past the enclosure, Dad stopped so suddenly that Billy almost walked into him. He was pointing to the ground in front of him. The grass had been ripped out like something had skidded along the surface, and there was a round hole, a couple of feet wide in diameter. 

”Is that a crater?” 

Dad hit his arm lightly. Oh right, the phone. 

”How about I film it? You can be the narrator.” 

”That's a great idea! Can you put it on YouTube?”

It wasn't too dark yet, and Billy directed his father to stand a few feet in front of him. ”Okay, start with your name and where you are.”

Dad's eyes glittered with excitement. ”This is Martin Johansson, near Ashwood Oaks. As you can see it's a beautiful spring night, and...”

Billy's eyes wandered while his father continued his narration. There was movement at the edge of the forest: the familiar dark wisps of smoke. ”Hold on, Dad. I think there might be a forest fire.”

His father turned to look. ”Keep filming! Maybe a bigger one-”

For a second, Billy thought he was having a stroke. He wanted to respond, but he couldn't get his voice to work, and when he tried to move, his body refused to cooperate. His father turned back, his face blank and his eyes black. 

Billy felt his own body move forward, and his neck craned so that he was looking into the hole. There was a bright light at the bottom. 

”You think it's one of them?” Dad's voice said, but it didn't sound like his father at all. 

”Doesn't look like it,” something used Billy's voice to say. ”But we have to call it in, whatever it is.” 

”Hold on, I'm gonna take a closer look.” The thing inside his Dad bent down and picked up the glowing object. Whatever it was, it looked small in the large hands that were coarse after decades of farming. Suddenly, Dad started screaming. Patches of his skin became as black as his eyes, and he started to shake. Billy felt a vibration deep in his body, and his father crumbled to dust in front of him. He wanted to scream. 

”Oh shit,” he heard his voice say.

 

Castiel watched the train decelerate as it reached the platform. It was twelve minutes late, and he had felt the urge to use his phone for the last eleven. Once the train had come to a full stop, the doors opened and a handful of people stepped out. There was a young man in military uniform, an elderly man, a family with two small children, and then Claire, adjusting the strap on her shoulder. Her long hair was combed and her clothes were clean. There were bags under her eyes, but she looked healthy. 

The memory of their parting hug was still fresh in his mind, but the grave look on her face made him keep his arms by his sides. 

She gave a curt nod. ”Hey. Thanks for coming. You got a car?”

”Yes, it's in the parking lot. Should I take your luggage?”

”Nah, it's cool.” The bag was big enough for the sword she had taken from Tamiel, and she kept a firm grip on it the whole way to the rental car. 

”Wow, it's actually nice.” 

”It's a Toyota Camry,” Castiel answered, thinking back on how the rental agent had said it was a great car. ”My own car was stolen.”

He unlocked the doors and Claire put her bag on the backseat. ”I'm really sorry to hear that.” 

”You're being ironic.” 

”No shit.” There was a hint of pride in her smile, but it soon faded. She found the sandwich on her seat and tore into it as the train station disappeared in the rearview mirror. He let her eat in silence for a few minutes. 

”How are you, Claire?” he asked at last. 

”It's an angel,” she said quickly and wiped her mouth with her thumb. ”A woman called Nicole Carter made a YouTube video about a little girl coming into the diner she was working at and killing two men. She says the girl had shadows that looked like wings, that she killed one of the men with a sword, and the other with some kind of light magic. The cops didn't buy her story, of course, but there was nothing that tied her to the murders, so she's not a suspect either.”

Castiel nodded. ”That does sound like an angel, which makes it very likely that those men were demons. Demons and angels have been known to run into each other from time to time. It's not necessarily anything to worry about.” 

The silence that followed clued him in on the fact that he had said the wrong thing. Claire was staring at him, the last bit of sandwich still in her hand. 

”It's the _girl_ , Castiel. We're going to save the girl.” 

Oh. 

”I don't know if that's possible,” he said after a moment. 

”You can talk to the angel, can't you? Convince her, or threaten her, or...something?” Claire folded the sandwich paper into a little square, and he knew it was an excuse not to look at him. 

”If we find her, I can try. But in all likelihood, she's long gone.”

Claire nodded quickly. ”That's why we're going to talk to the witness. There might be information she left out of her video.” 

 

Nicole Carter's apartment was small but lovingly decorated. She excused the mess and hopped to the kitchen to make tea. There was boundless energy in the way she moved and talked as if everything excited her. Claire was a stark contrast, smiling shyly and touching the cross around her neck whenever Nicole was watching. 

”My dad's just here to protect me. He's an atheist.” 

”That right?”

Castiel nodded. ”God is a delusion created to ease the fear of death.” 

”I have no fear.” Nicole eased herself down on the couch and rested her crutches against the table. ”Not anymore.”

Claire nodded as if she knew just how Nicole felt. ”Did you hear what the angel and the men talked about?” 

”She only spoke to one of them, after she had killed the other one with her sword. She asked where the weapon was, and said she had killed a lot of demons to get his name.”

”What was his response?”

”He said: 'there are many weapons, be more specific.' And then...” A soft smile spread on Nicole's face. ”She showed him her wings. They were beautiful. He shrunk back in terror, and then he said a name: Ashwood Oaks. I looked it up. It's a nature reserve six hundred miles from here. Then the light became very bright and we both got knocked over.”

”Both of you? The angel, too?

”Yes. She was gone by the time I came to. I don't think she even saw me.”

Claire's breaths quickened so slightly that Castiel was probably the only one to hear it. ”Can you describe what the girl looked like?”

”Like I said in the video; she was white, around ten years old, had long blonde hair. She wore a blue sweater and had a dolphin necklace.”

”Have you ever seen the girl before?”

Almost reluctantly, Nicole turned her gaze on Castiel. ”Why would I have seen an angel before?” 

He resisted the impulse to ask her why an angel would wear a dolphin necklace and pointed instead to the camping equipment laid out on the floor. ”That place, Ashwood Oaks – do you intend to travel there?”

”As soon as my foot is good enough to drive on, yes.”

”Are you sure that's wise? It could be very dangerous.”

Her eyes narrowed and she studied him carefully. ”Why do you think it's dangerous if you don't believe me?” She turned to Claire, and the smile was back on her face. ”You understand, don't you? I have to follow the angel. What else can I do?”

Castiel put his mug down firmly. ”You can follow your own moral compass, instead of hanging onto delusions.”

 

”You recognized the irony, didn't you?” Claire said as they were back in the car. ”That Nicole was so close to an angel and didn't even know it.”

”I recognized it as an example of situational irony, yes.”

This response seemed to please Claire as if she was charting his progress. ”You didn't touch her, so I know you didn't read her mind.”

”I had no reason to suspect she wasn't telling the truth.”

She nodded. ”And you didn't heal her, either.” 

”I had no intention of doing so. As long as she's injured, she'll stay home, and in relative safety.”  
_And out of our way_ , he added silently.

As if she had heard him, Claire looked up from her phone. ”Did you have to be so harsh with her? She helped us a lot, you know.” 

”People with blind faith can be very dangerous.” 

”Why?” Claire glared at him. ”It worked out really great for you.”

The subject of her father was an ever-looming presence in their relationship, one that he suspected would never really fade away.

”That's true,” he nodded, and the admission seemed to ease the tension in Claire. ”I just don't trust that woman. She was unreasonable.”

”I don't think Nicole's dangerous,” Claire said with a shrug. ”She just had an experience she can't explain, that's all.”

Silence fell in the car and Castiel took the opportunity to change the topic of conversation. ”I have charted the course to our destination. We should arrive sometime around nine pm.”

”Good. We have to find a sporting goods store on the way. According to Facebook, that place is a real tourist trap, and we have to fit in. I need hiking boots, and you,” she tugged on the corner of his coat. ”You need a whole new outfit.”

 

”I need a favor.”

Claire sat on the bed and looked down at the yard below. It was deserted, but the light was still on in the reception. The nice older man who ran the motel had given them a brochure on the hiking trails and told them the diner would give them a discount on breakfast.

Running a finger over the salt on the window sill, she heard Jody shuffle to find pen and paper.

”Shoot.”

”Can you run a search for a girl reported missing in 2013? She's white, ten to twelve years old, blonde hair. She wore a blue sweater and a necklace with a dolphin when she went missing.”

”No problem. So she'd be around fourteen now.”

Claire closed her eyes. ”No, she hasn't aged.”

”She's possessed?” Jody's voice was soft and gentle. She hated it. 

”Yeah.”

”Okay, I'll run the search, but I've got to warn you, there are a lot of missing girls.” There was a pause and Claire knew what was coming. ”Are you doing okay?”

Her towel had slipped so she wrapped it more firmly around herself. ”I'm with Castiel. I couldn't be safer.”

 

”Did you enjoy the food?” Castiel asked as he cleared the remains of her dinner away.

”Sure, meat loaf's good.”

The movement in the corner of her eye stopped and she looked up to find him standing awkwardly in the center of the small room. 

”You have to tell me if I'm being too controlling. I understand that you're an adult.”

She wanted to laugh. Trust Castiel to have a crisis of faith over meat loaf. She undressed quickly and lay her clothes on the nearby chair. She hesitated with the knife, but placed it under her pillow anyway and slipped under the covers. The sheets felt coarse against her skin, but the mattress was soft.

”You can look now.”

Castiel turned back from facing the wall. ”I can get us a second room tomorrow. I didn't think about-”

She held up her hand. ”It's fine. So what about that sigil. Are you sure it wouldn't work?”

”The sigil can trap an angel, but ejection requires a tremendous will of effort from the vessel. Sam, a grown man, had difficulty ejecting his angel. It's very unlikely that a child would have the required strength.” He had a guilty look on his face. ”Especially one that's been possessed for years.”

”Okay, so Plan A it is then.” She let out a yawn and closed her eyes. ”Is it okay if you turn the ceiling lamp off? I'm sure there's a nightlight or something you can use if you want to read.” 

”Of course.” 

The room darkened behind her eyelids, and there was a rustling sound, but no other light came on. She opened her eyes. In the soft moonlight from the window, she saw the outline of Castiel's body on the bed opposite hers. 

”What are you doing? I thought you didn't need sleep.”

”I don't,” he said sounding a bit embarrassed. ”Dean thinks it's disturbing if I watch over him while he's sleeping.”

”I'm not Dean. Do whatever you want.”

She rolled over and started her long wait for sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing she saw when she woke up was Castiel standing at the foot of her bed. 

”Are you all right?”

”Why wouldn't I be?”

”You had a restless sleep,” he said with a frown. ”It sounded like you were having nightmares.”

”I'm fine. Looks great on you, by the way.”

He had been useless at the store, so she'd taken control and made him buy ripstop cargo pants and a light blue hooded sweater. It gave him a ruggedly casual look, and it also had the advantage of being something her father had never worn. 

Glancing down at himself, he raised an eyebrow. ”Do you think I'll 'blend in'?”

”Sure, just act like you're on vacation.”

She dressed quickly and retrieved the knife from under her pillow. ”So what did you do all night?” 

”I listened to angel radio in case there was any mention of the incident, but there wasn't. Like I said, demons and angels often have altercations. I've also been speculating on what kind of weapon the angel is looking for. It's been over a year since Heaven was reopened, and while there has been a great degree of chaos, a proper inventory of the armory should have been made by now.”

Claire hovered for a moment over the bag but decided to leave it. ”I'm sure that's fascinating stuff for you, but it's the girl we're focused on, okay?”

He nodded. ”I understand. It's time for you to eat. I think you'll like the diner.”

 

It had been too dark the previous night to get a good look, but in the warm morning sun, Claire realized this was without a doubt the smallest town she had ever visited. It was nothing more than a long street lined with brick buildings that were all related to the tourism industry. The forest loomed on all sides, dark green and inviting.

The diner sat at the top of a slope, its large windows facing the forest. With the dark wood paneling and rustic fabric– not to mention the pillows on the chairs –the place felt like a mountain lodge. 

”I got this,” Claire said as she pored over her menu. ”Sam gave me a credit card last year.”

”Oh, okay.” Castiel looked hesitant but didn't complain. 

After living at Jody's for over a year, she had gotten used to eating breakfast again, and she was pretty damn hungry.

”Shortstack for me, please,” she said when the waitress came to take their order. ”And a fruit salad, to make sure I get enough vitamins,” she added with a look towards Castiel.

”And you, sir?”

”I'm good, thank you. It all looks delicious, but I... don't eat.”

Claire plastered a smile on her face. ”He's on a juice cleanse. Mid-life crisis.” 

The waitress gave him a sympathetic smile. ”We make our own grape juice if you're interested.” 

”Thank you, that would be lovely.” 

When she was gone, Claire sighed. ”You have got to tone down the whole not-eating-thing. It's weird!” 

”You're right. We need to appear as regular tourists.”

”Well, not all the time.” She lowered her voice. ”You brought your FBI badge, didn't you? So, just ask people if they've seen the girl.” The waitress was coming back towards them with their coffee. ”Start with her.”

Castiel smiled when his cup was placed in front of him. ”Thank you, Stephanie. This is a remarkably beautiful place.”

Stephanie had a bright smile and tired but kind eyes. ”First time, huh? I bet it won't be the last. We get seventy thousand visitors every year, and a lot of them are here for the third, fourth, or fifth time.”

He jerked his thumb in the direction of the panorama window, which seemed to open to a sea of green. ”I can certainly see why. Do you get a lot of families?”

”Many. The trails aren't meant for small children, of course, but many families with older children come here, especially during school breaks.”

She beamed at Claire. ”It was a good idea to come here before the high season starts. You'll be able to explore the forest in relative peace and quiet.”

Castiel reached into the pocket of his hooded sweater. ”Unfortunately, it's not just a vacation for me. I'm looking for a missing girl. She's around ten years old, has long blonde hair. Do you remember if you've seen a girl matching that description in the last couple of weeks? She'd be alone, without adults nearby.”

Stephanie held out her hand and he gave her the badge for inspection. She studied it carefully for a few seconds before handing it back. ”Some parents let their children run around unsupervised, but we don't allow it in here. And I haven't seen a little girl on her own. I would have remembered that.” There was sadness in her smile.

”One down, couple dozen to go,” Claire sighed after Stephanie had left. ”This is going to take forever. Can't you sense if an angel has been in this town?” 

Castiel rolled his eyes. ”I'm not a bloodhound.” 

”We could use a bloodhound,” she muttered as their food arrived. 

The pancakes were gold brown and perfectly stacked. Claire emptied half the jar of syrup over them and didn't talk for a while. 

 

”So what would you do?” Claire asked as they were walking down Main Street later. ”If you knew that what you were looking for was somewhere around here?”

Castiel seemed to ponder her question carefully. ”It would depend on the object,” he said at last. ”Some heavenly weapons can be used by humans and demons with... devastating effect. Others give off special vibrations or sounds that can be felt by angels. Sam and Dean would begin by searching for violent deaths or strange incidents in the area.”

He tugged gently on her elbow and she stepped aside to let a car pass. The driver raised his hand in greeting as he passed them. 

”I already checked that.” She shoved her hands back into her pockets. ”The last murder was in '98. So whatever it is, it's not affecting humans.”

He raised an eyebrow. ”I thought you weren't interested in the weapon?”

”No, but I have to think like an angel to find an angel, and you are one, so...” 

A wistful look crossed his face, and for a moment, she wondered if she'd triggered another crisis of faith.

”If I weren't estranged from home I'd call on the Host for assistance. Considering the fact that this angel has been killing demons on her own, it's unlikely she has done that.” 

Claire studied her boots as she walked on. ”So we're probably not too late.” 

”We know a few things about this angel; one, she was injured badly enough in the fall to still be weak. Two, she's in the vessel of a child which means she can't travel without raising suspicion. That suggests our current strategy is the best one.”

She swallowed thickly. ”But you don't think we should be looking at all, do you?” 

”Claire...” 

He had stopped in the middle of the road and she spun around to face him. 

”I know you don't want the angels to tear up Earth, but beyond that you don't really care what they do. The kid consented, right?”

There was a pained expression on his face. ”I do care. I wouldn't be helping you if I didn't.”

She sucked in a harsh breath. ”You care about _me_. That's it.” 

”I do. I don't want you to get hurt.”

”How could I? You're here,” she said quietly. ”Best bodyguard in the galaxy.” 

He lowered his head. ”I worry that you're unprepared for what we might find. I think you're unwilling to accept that this child might be beyond saving. It's not easy–” 

”I'm sorry.” She unclenched her fists and forced herself to breathe slowly. ”I shouldn't be giving you a hard time. Just forget it, okay?”

 

The sign on the door to the tourist office said it didn't open until ten. There was a bench outside the building that seemed to be carved from a single oak tree, and she caught Castiel running a hand over it admiringly. She took the opportunity to send a text to Jody, who replied that she hadn't found a match yet, but would continue looking.

As they sat on the bench and waited for the office to open, Castiel entertained her with stories from the road. The stories had nothing to do with angels or Heaven, and despite his clumsy narration, she found herself listening with interest. 

The sky was blue except for a few feathery clouds, and some birds circled overhead. It was almost like being on vacation. Right before ten, two tourists showed up: a man and woman in their twenties. Claire still hadn't figured out whether they were a couple or just friends when the doors opened, and a middle-aged man welcomed them inside.

She hung back while Castiel talked to the manager. There weren't any panorama windows here, but the walls were covered with large framed photographs of the forest. Guidebooks lined the shelves, and there were maps and brochures displayed around the room. In addition to souvenirs, they seemed to be selling basic outdoors equipment: firestarters, ropes, and those waterproof bags you could put your valuables in. 

A large monitor ran a slideshow of Instagram photos tagged #ashwoodoaks. From the looks of them, it never rained here. The photos showed people sitting around campfires, crouching next to streams, or standing in the middle of the forest with cheerful expressions on their faces. Her parents had taken her camping only once. It was the summer after third grade, and her mom had told her fond memories of camping with her own parents. The trip had lasted three days and Claire had spent most of it complaining. The mosquitos, the hard ground, the lack of TV: all had been unbearable hardships for her ten-year-old self, and she'd made damn sure her parents knew it.

Looking away from the happy display, Claire reached for the nearest book and started flicking through it. 

”...that sounds like the kid visiting Steph,” a new voice said. 

She put the book back and hurried over to the counter. ”Did you speak to the girl? Did she act normal?”

The younger man who was holding a box full of maps looked at her in confusion. Castiel cleared his throat. ”I apologize for my daughter. She's... not in a good mood. She wanted to go camping, but I didn't tell her it would be a working vacation.”

”The kid didn't say anything,” the man gave Claire a once-over before turning his gaze back on Castiel. ”I only saw her once, in the back of Steph's car a few days ago. She said the kid was her sister's daughter, but she's never mentioned a sister before.” He set the box down on the counter and rubbed the back of his neck. ”She's not in trouble, is she?”

”I just want to ask her a few questions. What is your friend's full name?”

”Stephanie Werner. She works at the diner most days.” 

Claire felt out of breath, like she had climbed a set of stairs too quickly. She glanced over at Castiel, who seemed completely unfazed.

”How did your friend react when you mentioned the girl?”

”Dismissively.” The man gave a half-shrug. ”But she always acts that way towards me, so it doesn't mean anything. We used to go out,” he added like that explained everything.

 

When they were back out on the street Claire had to stop herself from running. ”So what's our plan here? Are you going to read her mind?”

Castiel's pace was frustratingly slow. ”That might not be necessary. If the girl is her niece, which is very likely, she'll be able to corroborate the story with some sort of documentation.” 

”And if she can't? Or won't?”

”Then maybe, such measures will be necessary,” he admitted.

Claire snorted. ”Wow, you have changed. I thought you guys were all about using your powers.” 

He didn't answer, and they didn't speak again until they reached the diner. Stephanie was nowhere to be seen; had gone home sick, according to the waitress who had taken her place. Castiel asked where that was, and the woman gave him a look that said she thought he'd know better.

”We don't give out that kind of information.”

”I need to speak to her about an urgent matter,” he said sternly and showed her his fake FBI badge. ”She's to be questioned in a federal investigation.”

She rolled her eyes but gave him the address anyway. ”A federal investigation on Steph? You'd have better luck finding dirt in a Japanese subway.” 

 

Stephanie lived on the outskirts of town, and Claire spent the majority of the drive trying to ignore the butterflies in her stomach. Hunters didn't get the jitters. 

”Will you be able to tell right away?”

”Yes,” Castiel nodded, keeping his eyes firmly on the road. 

The forest had disappeared behind them five minutes ago, but there were little islands of pine trees scattered here and there. She couldn't imagine anyone wanting to live this remotely.

”Have you thought about what you're gonna say?” 

He let out a harsh sigh. ”I'll improvise.”

 

The residential area turned out to be a handful of two-story buildings centered around a parking lot. Stephanie's apartment was on the ground floor and the blinds were down. Castiel put his ear to the door and then rang the bell. There was no response. 

Claire shuffled nervously. ”Are you going to break it open?” 

He'd done it at Randy's place, and the memory of that night made her shiver. 

Before he could answer, there were footsteps behind them, and she heard something being put down on the ground. They both turned at the same time. 

Stephanie pointed the gun at Castiel calmly. ”Put your hands up.”

Claire instinctively reached into her pocket and wrapped her fingers around the handle of the knife. He couldn't be hurt, not by a human weapon, and she willed herself to put her hands up in surrender.

”We're not looking for any trouble,” Castiel said softly.

Stephanie's expression hardened and there was no trace of the friendly waitress they had met. ”How much did they pay you?”

”Ma'am, I'm an FBI agent. You've seen my identification.”

”Don't play dumb with me. They would never get the authorities involved.” 

”Who are you talking about?”

She snorted. ”Her parents, of course.”

”Please!” Claire blurted out. ”You have to let the girl go home! She's just a kid.”

Stephanie's eyes widened and she gave a bitter laugh. ”Why? So they can break her arm again? So she can live in fear?”

”Claire, look at the bags,” Castiel said calmly.

Claire tore her eyes away from Stephanie and looked down at the white plastic bags. They were filled to the brim with groceries, more than one person could eat, and a package of Frosted Flakes peaked out on top. She squeezed her eyes shut.

”Ma'am, it seems I'm mistaken,” Castiel said gently. ”The girl staying with you is probably not the one I'm looking for. May I see your girl so that I can dismiss her from my investigation? You can see my identification again if you'd like.” 

Stephanie shifted from one foot to the other, and then she put the gun away. ”Fine, but don't scare her.”

He stepped out of her way and kept his hands up until she had opened the door. 

The girl was sitting on the bed, twirling a long strand of hair around her fingers. She looked up at Stephanie with a frightened expression. ”There was someone at the door, but I didn't answer!”

In an instant, Stephanie's whole demeanor changed. Her body relaxed and she smiled warmly at the girl.

”You did good, baby. Everything's all right. These are some friends of mine. I'm just gonna talk to them for a while, okay?” 

Claire looked at Castiel and he shook his head. Without a word she walked over to the girl and sank down in front of her, making herself smaller when the girl flinched. 

”Hey, there. You have pretty hair. Do you want a braid like mine?”

The girl nodded silently and scooted over to let Claire sit next to her on the bed. By the door, Castiel and Stephanie were talking quietly, and Claire could only make out a word here or there.

She used her fingers to comb the girl's hair and separated it into three thick strands. 

”My name's Claire. What's yours?” 

”Denise.” The girl's stillness and quiet of her voice broke Claire's heart a little.

”That's a pretty name, Denise.” 

She worked quickly while keeping an eye on the conversation in front of her. When she was done, she pulled the rubber band from her own braid and tied the end of Denise's with it. She gave it a playful tug. ”All done.” 

Denise looked up and nodded. She had no bruises on her face, but she had a cautious look in her eyes. Claire itched to give the girl a hug, but she didn't want to scare her. 

”You're gonna be okay,” she said as confidently as she could. ”I know things have been tough, but everything's going to be all right now.” 

Denise studied her carefully. ”I guess,” she said quietly.

The conversation at the door was coming to an end, and Claire walked over just as Castiel removed his hand from Stephanie's forehead. ”I'm sorry,” he said apologetically. ”It looked like you were running a fever.” 

Stephanie just gritted her teeth. ”Look, I know you have to report this. But please, can't you wait until we're out of town? She's safe with me, I promise.” 

”We're not going to tell anyone,” Castiel said firmly. ”Continue living your life as usual. We're not going to bother you again.”

 

Claire almost had to jog to keep up with him on their way back to the car. ”Did you read her mind?”

”Yes, that girl has never been possessed.” His jaw tightened. ”Her parents are dangerous and violent. Stephanie has saved her.” 

Claire undid the remains of her braid and shook out her hair. ”I kinda figured. Kids like her used to wind up in the group home from time to time. They all had that look in their eyes like they were always expecting a beating.” 

”I see.”

”She's really lucky, you know? That she had someone like Stephanie in her life.”

They reached the car and Castiel hesitated at the door. ”Claire, were you ever–?”

She shrugged. ”Nah, I wasn't hit. My foster parents were all the Christian do-gooder types. You know, big on meekness.”

A look of relief crossed his face like this was one less thing he'd have to feel guilty about. 

She picked a hair from her sleeve. ”So can you really tell? If someone's been possessed?

He sighed like he knew where this was going. ”By an angel, yes. Angels always leave some of their grace behind.” 

”Can you see it in me? Can other angels?”

”Yes. There's a small remnant of my grace in you.” 

He looked ashamed, and Claire was surprised by how much it pleased her. ”So there's a vacancy sign over my head. That's just great.”

”There is a way to have it removed, but it's dangerous and painful. I can look into it if you want to.”

She gave a dismissive wave of her hand. ”Don't bother. I'm not planning on having many run-ins with angels.” 

 

The drive back to town felt anti-climactic. She'd been so sure they were on to something, but all they'd managed to do was terrify a good woman.

The motel had generous parking space reserved for their guests, and she recognized many of the cars from last night. The manager had told them that most visitors only stayed one night before heading into the forest. For the sake of maintaining their cover, maybe she and Castiel should head out, too. She glanced over at him where he sat, ramrod straight and wearing his hoodie like a uniform. Yeah, no.

She got out and walked around the back of the car, intending to head towards Main Street when Castiel grabbed her elbow. ”What?”

He was looking straight ahead and she followed his gaze. A man was standing a few feet away. He looked fairly young, had ginger hair and beard, and he was staring at them with a look of terror on his face. His eyes turned black in the same instant that Castiel pulled her behind him.

The demon screamed as he attacked like he was psyching himself up. Castiel easily gripped him by the wrist and throat. There was a crunching sound like the breaking of bone.

”Answer my questions and I'll let you live,” he said coolly.

The demon's hand shook with the effort of holding on to his blade. His face twisted, and with a cry, the wrist was torn free. He tried to stab Castiel, who dodged the blow easily and then he raised his arm again. 

Claire leaped forward, latching onto the demon's elbow and putting all of her pitiful weight on it. She heard the crunching sound again and then she was on the ground. 

The demon turned, but it was too late. Castiel ran his own blade through the demon's neck, and there was a brief flash of light. The dead body hit the ground with a soft thump. 

Blearily, she tried to lift her arm and fought back a wave of nausea when she saw the sickeningly wrong angle of her elbow. 

”Jesus! That was...” 

Castiel turned towards the sound. Blood from his blade dripped on the asphalt. 

The man who had spoken was ashen-faced. ”That was a demon.” He looked nervously between the two of them.

”Wait!” Castiel called out, but the man turned and ran.

Pain like she had never felt ripped through Claire's arm. She struggled to sit up. ”Go! Just go!”


	3. Chapter 3

The first thing she noticed was the faint rotting smell of dried blood. She gasped and sat up. There was no pain and her arm looked completely normal. 

Castiel stopped typing when he noticed her looking at him. ”Are you all right?”

She swung her legs over the side of her bed and let out of shaky laugh. ”You healed me.”

”Of course.” 

Her sleeve was rolled up and she ran a finger over the unmarred skin of her forearm. ”It was broken, right? My arm?”

”Yes, both the radius and ulna. It's a common injury among young people.” 

She rolled the sleeve down and chuckled. He made it sound like she'd hurt herself skateboarding, not fighting a demon. She looked up. ”The guy! Did you go after him?” 

”No.”

”Why not? I told you to!”

A line appeared between his brows. ”You were injured, and I had to deal with the body.”

”I would have survived! That guy could know something about the angel. I can't believe you just let him go!” 

His expression hardened. ”My first priority is keeping you safe. Nothing is more important to me than that.” 

Claire blinked and looked down at her arm. There was a dark stain on her sleeve. 

”I understand. Thanks.” She pressed her lips together. ”For healing me.” She gestured towards the table where a wallet lay open. ”So did that belong to the demon? Or the... host?” 

”It belonged to the human. According to the driver's license, his name was Billy Johansson. He was a local resident and he was thirty-one years old.” Castiel regarded her carefully. ”He was already dead, Claire.” 

”Good.” How weird it was that someone's death was good news. She folded her arms around herself. ”What else did you find?”

He indicated the laptop screen. ”His home address is a dairy farm a few miles from here. According to the local newspaper, it used to belong to his father who disappeared three years ago.” 

”Disappeared?”

”Yes. When he was officially declared dead, the farm was left to Billy.” He let out a sigh. ”The disappearance happened around the same time that Heaven was locked.”

That made her sit up straight. ”So, some angel could have taken Billy's dad as a vessel.”

”I don't think that's the case. The fact that a demon possessed his son and remained in this area after such a long time suggests his disappearance had something to do with the weapon. And then there's this.” He picked up a phone she'd never seen before. ”There's a text message sent to an unlisted number with co-ordinates for Billy's property. I think it's safe to assume that the weapon is being kept there.” 

Claire stood up and started looking for her jacket. She found it hanging neatly on a hook near the door. ”Okay, let's go.” 

He didn't move from his seat. ”Claire, it's getting late.”

”So? If the angel knows what we know, she might already be there. Hell, she might already have found what she's looking for!”

”If there are demons at the farm, they will be expecting a night time attack.”

”You hid the body, didn't you?” she said, buttoning up the jacket. ”So they don't know their buddy bought it.” 

Castiel frowned. ”There's something very strange going on here. It's been six days since the angel killed those demons, and yet, the demon was still here. Word should have traveled back by now.”

Meaning the demons should have run for the hills as soon as they learned an angel was after them. She thought about how terrified the demon had been. ”What're you saying?”

”Perhaps the weapon is something they can't move. That means they're vulnerable, and _that_ means security is going to be tight.” 

Taking a deep breath, she squared her shoulders. ”This is a lead, Castiel. This is, in fact, the first lead we've got so far, and you're telling me we're not even going to check it out?”

He looked at her sternly.”The angel is weak. Her best bet is to attack when it's least expected. _Our_ best chance of getting through this with minimal loss of life is to attack when it's least expected. Which is in broad daylight.”

Claire's whole body stiffened. ”I don't want to kill anyone.” It came out as a whimper. 

”Neither do I,” he said, and she wondered if that was how he felt all the time.

”Okay, you're the expert. I'll follow your lead.” 

The corners of his mouth turned up. ”We'll leave at sunrise. The farm is located on the northeast edge of the forest. We can park the car on one of the forest roads and walk from there. For tonight, it's best that we stay here, in case other demons come to town.”

”But we have to go to the diner. I haven't eaten anything since breakfast.”

That seemed to motivate him to finally get up from his seat. ”I'll go and buy some food.” 

”Please, Castiel, I need to get out of here. I'm safe as long as you're around.” 

He shook his head firmly. ”You're staying here.”

She shrugged. ”You told me to tell, so I'm telling: you're too controlling.” 

For anyone that didn't know him, it would be impossible to see his surrender. But she pinpointed the exact moment he lost a tiny bit of his rigid posture. 

”I'm sorry. It seems to be a character flaw of mine where you're concerned.” 

 

The evening air was chilly, as summer was still a few weeks away. He kept looking around, but they didn't pass a single person on their way over. The light inside the diner was warm and welcoming. There were only a few other patrons, and Castiel suddenly stopped next to her. The man from the parking lot was nursing a cup of coffee at the table closest to them. He lifted his hand in an awkward wave. 

”It's okay,” Claire said loudly enough for him to hear. ”There's two of us, and I'm armed.” 

The man seemed nervous when they approached but made no attempt to move. ”If you're going to kill me, please hear me out first.”

He was Jody's age, give or take a few years, and had a gentle look about him.

Castiel took the seat furthest from the wall. ”Who are you?”

”My name is Jake Barrett. I'm sorry I ran away like that. I just panicked.”

”You said 'that was a demon'. Why did you say that?”

The man shifted in his seat a little. ”Well, it was, wasn't it? The black eyes, the lightning. What else could it have been?”

Castiel's expression was unreadable. ”Who told you about demons, Mr. Barrett?”

Something dark flashed in the man's eyes. ”My daughter. Please, I need your help.”

The waitress from earlier came over. She looked at Castiel with amusement. 

”Nice to see you again, Agent. How may I assist you this time?”

He barely looked at her. ”Two portions of lasagna to go, please.” 

”Why would your daughter know about demons?” he asked as soon as she had left.

”Because she saw some, okay? Look, I don't who you people are, but you obviously know something about this sort of stuff. I need help. I need to find my little girl.”

Claire tensed up. ”What's her name?” 

The man– Jake –looked at her. ”Helen. I have a photo of her.” He reached into his briefcase and pulled out a glossy photograph that he slid over the table.

It wasn't Denise in the picture, but a girl around the same age and with similar hair. She was wearing a silver necklace, but the shape of the pendant was too blurry to make out.

Claire's heart beat a little faster. ”Has she gone missing?” 

”She was taken, by...” he closed his eyes briefly. ”By an angel.” 

Castiel leaned in on his elbows, forcing Jake to look at him. ”Start at the beginning.” 

”My daughter was nine when she disappeared from our front yard. There were no leads, no witnesses. My wife had died earlier that year, and Helen had taken it hard. She'd been sneaking out, going God know's where. The police wrote her off as a runaway.” 

Jake wrung his hands together. ”I knew the odds weren't good. The only thing that stopped me from killing myself was knowing I had to be there for her if by some miracle she had survived. Six months later, she rung the door, still wearing the same clothes. It was like she hadn't changed. The first few days, she didn't say anything. I thought I'd be relieved when she started talking.” He laughed bitterly. 

”She told me that an angel had asked for her help, and when she had agreed, it had taken control of her body. She described horrifying things. Things she'd seen and things she'd been made to do. She had excruciating nightmares. The only way to get her a few hours of sleep was to lie in bed with her and hold her hand. She was terrified that the angel would come and take her away again.” He gritted his teeth. ”I told her it was over, that she was safe.”

For a moment, nothing could be heard but his harsh breathing. 

”Two months ago, she disappeared again. This time, I knew better than to call the police.”

Claire felt like she was going to puke. ”What did you do?”

”I prayed. I prayed for the angel to let Helen go. I said... if God needed someone, he should take me instead. I know it's wrong to question God's plan, but she's just a child! Why would He want a child to suffer like this?”

He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. ”And then last week my prayers were answered. I stumbled upon a video where a woman talked about meeting an angel that looked like Helen. She even described the necklace she was wearing when she disappeared.” He tapped the photograph with his finger. ”It was a birthday gift from her mom. Helen's always loved dolphins. I contacted the woman, and she told me the angel had learned about this place. I've been here a couple of days, but I haven't seen my daughter.”

Castiel regarded him coolly. ”What do you plan to do if you find her?”

”Anything the angel wants. On the condition that it lets Helen go.” Jake's eyes blazed with anger. ”Look, I don't want to know who the two of you are, or what your deal is. But if there's any way you can help me get my girl back, I'll do whatever you ask of me.”

Claire held out her hand. ”Give me your phone, please.” When he handed it over, Castiel leaned in and touched his forehead. 

Jake looked at him in surprise. ”I wasn't going to hurt her!”

”Well, you can never be too sure.”

Claire worked quickly with the distraction and felt her own phone buzz in her pocket.

”There,” she slid the phone back over to him. ”Now you have my number and I have yours. We'll call if we find anything.” She faked a smile.

Castiel gave Jake a stern look. ”You say you're prepared to do anything to help your daughter. Go back to where you're staying and do nothing. Call us if you hear anything, but don't go looking for her. Let us work in peace.”

Jake's shoulders slumped but he nodded silently.

Their food was waiting for them at the counter. The waitress smirked as Castiel handed over a twenty dollar bill. ”I didn't want to disturb you in your investigation.” 

He rolled his eyes. ”Keep the change.” 

 

As soon as they were out on the street, Castiel turned towards her with a grave expression.

”That man's memories have been altered.”

Claire took a heaving breath of the cool evening air. She was already feeling much better. ”What do you mean?” 

”Angels can change someone's memories or erase them entirely. It was done so expertly, I couldn't tell what had been altered. I saw that he thought he was telling us the truth, but it's possible his memories were fabricated by the same angel that took his daughter. If it even is his daughter.”

Claire tucked an unruly lock of hair behind her ear. ”Why would she do something like that? His story didn't exactly paint a flattering picture of her.”

”There is a certain kind of warding that protects against angels. If the demons have realized that the weapon comes from Heaven, they will have put up such warding. The angel will need a human assistant to remove it. I wouldn't be surprised if she manipulated Jake to find Nicole's video in order to bring him here.” 

Claire grabbed Castiel's arm which made the bag with the food sway a little. ”So we watch him! If the angel needs him, she'll show up sooner or later!”

”Did you turn on his GPS?”

”Yeah, I'm not an idiot.”

He nodded. ”Good. The angel will need him at the farm. We'll track his phone to make sure he doesn't go there.” 

”We should tell him. He has a right to know someone's been in his head.” 

”No.” His mouth set in a hard line. ”That would only put him in further danger. It's safest for him, and for us, that the angel never learns that we know about her.” 

Claire let her hand fall away. ”Your relatives are really fucked in the head, you know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and constructive criticism is always welcome! Even if you just want to let me know you're still reading this story, I would appreciate it. :)


	4. Chapter 4

”Mom! Dad! I'm here!”

Her parents carry on their conversation like they haven't heard her. The invisible wall that's keeping her from joining them is unbreakable. She beats and kicks on it, but it's unforgiving. 

They look happy and relaxed. The cooler is open. She knows there are sandwiches and sodas there. 

The barrier doesn't let any sound through, in fact, there's no sound on her side at all. She turns and sees the lights shutting down behind her. The swing set, the climbing frame: bit by bit, the playground disappears into darkness. The world in front of her is bright and welcoming. Her knuckles bleed as she bangs her fists against the barrier. 

”Dad! Please! Mom! Help me!”

The crushing weight of the nothingness pins her against the wall. She screams until the paralysis creeps up her body and takes her voice away.

 

”Claire! Claire!”

She gasped and opened her eyes. Castiel stopped shaking her and moved away. A moment later he pressed an opened bottle of water in her hands. 

”Try to sit up.”

She twisted around until she felt the wall against her back, and she rubbed her eyes, not surprised to find her cheeks wet with tears. She took a sip of water and coughed. 

”I'm fine.”

As though torn between not wanting to invade her personal space and not wanting to leave her alone, Castiel sat on the corner of the bed, once again in his white dress shirt. ”Claire, you're not fine.”

Her breathing hitched and she looked down. 

”I've... The last couple of days, I started having really weird dreams. I don't want to talk about it, but they're pretty freaky.” She rubbed her face furiously. ”Sorry if I scared you.”

The corners of his mouth quirked up. ”Don't apologize. When I was human, dreaming was one of the things I found most confusing. I had visited Dean's dreams so I was familiar with the concept, but experiencing it firsthand was really startling. The scenes I saw were surreal and unrelated. I thought perhaps I was being sent a message, one that I failed to decipher. Then I learned that dreaming is the human brain's mechanism for processing experiences. Once I accepted that, the dreams started to make sense to me.”

Claire pulled the comforter up to her chest and leaned her head back. ”What did you dream about?”

”Flying, mostly.”

She sniffled. ”And now you can't.”

”It's not so bad. The Toyota Camry is a fine car.” 

He had a dorky grin on his face and she felt her mouth curve into a smile. It was a good feeling. She took another sip and let the water wet her lips. 

”What that guy said about his daughter... It's all true. I mean, his memories might not be, but that's what it was like. When you possessed me.” Claire took a steadying breath and looked Castiel straight in the eye. ”I want you to know that I understand. Dean told me what really happened. You needed me or my dad to stop the Apocalypse, and that was more important than us. I know that.” 

She looked at her wrist, at the crude stars inked into her skin. ”I've forgiven you, and I'm okay. But I'll never be over it.” 

Castiel was quiet for several moments as if he wanted to make sure she was done talking. 

”I should have erased your memories,” he said at last. 

She felt tears well up and blinked them away. ”Yeah. Maybe.”

He sighed heavily. ”I know now that I had no right to ask of you what I did. But back then I had only an abstract idea of human development. I didn't understand the concept of childhood innocence, or why you humans protect your children so fiercely. When your father volunteered to take me back, I was genuinely surprised. I didn't understand why he would agree to an existence he found so unpleasant. But it was to protect you from me. I was a perpetrator. I thought I had your permission, but I didn't understand that it was something you couldn't give.” 

She turned the bottle over in her hands. ”Cas? If we find Helen, can you erase her memories?”

”Probably not all of them. Three years is a very long time,” he said softly.

It had only been a couple of minutes for Claire, and here she was a bawling mess almost a decade later. She wiped her cheeks.

”I want you to take away as much of it as you can.”

”I'll try my best.”

She squeezed her eyes shut. ”And could you maybe... make me sleep? Just for an hour or two. I'll be useless out there otherwise. There's still some time, right?” 

”Of course. We still have time.”

He seemed to hesitate for a moment, and then he reached out and brushed the hair from her forehead. She scooted up the bed, dragging the comforter with her and fell into a deep sleep. 

 

She woke to the first rays of sunshine peeking through the blinds. The usual sleepy fog that lay thickly over her mind in the morning was nowhere to be found. _So this is what being rested feels like_ , she thought, stretching and swinging her feet out from under the sheets to get up.

Castiel was once again at the table nursing his Internet addiction. She had a sneaking suspicion most of his time online was spent looking at cat videos. He smiled when he saw her. 

”Goodmorning, Claire. Do you feel rested?”

She had found her pants and pulled them on quickly. ”That's fishing for compliments. But yes.” Looking around the room, she saw red symbols drawn on every wall. ”Is that angel warding?”

”Yes, but it's not complete. It wouldn't banish me from the room, but it would be very uncomfortable for me to stay here.” 

He turned the laptop and showed her a drawing of a symbol that looked very much like the ones on the walls. ”All that's left to draw is the bottom line.”

She looked from the screen to the nearest symbol. ”And it will keep the angel out?”

A red-capped Sharpie lay on the table. He picked it up. ”It will keep any angel from entering, including me. So use it with caution.”

”So this is like a celestial version of locking myself in my room. Good to know.” 

He rolled his eyes but handed her the Sharpie anyway. 

Breakfast was cold lasagna and water. While she ate, Castiel informed her that Jake, or at least his phone, was still in town.

After another few minutes, a phone rang and it took Claire a second to remember hers was still on mute. Castiel glanced at his phone and swiped the screen.

”Good morning, Sheriff. You're on speaker.”

”Morning, Cas. And Claire. Cas, I've got the information you asked for.”

Claire tensed and Castiel gave her a pleading look. She let out a deep sigh. ”Good morning, Jody.”

Jody either didn't pick up on the bad mood or had learned how to tune it out. It was probably the latter. 

”So! Helen Ann Barrett, nine years old, from Portland, Oregon, was reported missing on September 21st, 2013, by her father, Jacob. The case was closed when he brought her into the police station six months later. That's why I didn't find anything: she's no longer in any of the databases for missing children.”

Castiel squinted his eyes. ”Was there no further investigation into the girl's disappearance?” 

”There was no need to. The family's priest testified that she'd been taking care of Helen, and the girl corroborated the story. She underwent a medical examination, but there were no signs of physical abuse. The priest's name is Reverand Wilkinson. I can personally attest that she is not a morning person.” 

Claire's stomach fluttered. ”What did she say?”

”Well, after I had explained that I was investigating possible connections between Helen's disappearance and another missing child, she was very helpful. She said she's known the Barretts for fifteen years, and that Madeleine Barrett, Helen's mother, was killed in a home invasion a few years ago. The Reverand said both father and daughter had a rough go of it, and when Helen had turned up on her doorstep, she had threatened to run away if her father found out where she was. But eventually, she managed to talk Helen into going home.”

Castiel seemed to process this information. ”Sheriff, did you get the impression that this woman was telling the truth?”

”It's hard to say over the phone. I've met plenty of people who've done the same thing. Hell, I've done it.” Jody sounded wistful. 

Claire had never asked about the details of Alex's custody arrangement. She hadn't cared because she knew firsthand what the alternative was like. ”And she just got away with it?”

”Laws against harboring runaway minors are very rarely enforced. Especially when the kid turns up alive.” There was a pause. ”How are you two doing, anyway? You got time to enjoy the scenery?”

Castiel looked up at Claire and smiled. ”We're fine, thank you. Claire is taking very good care of me.”

There was a chuckle on the other end of the line. ”Oh, I know she can. Good luck. I'm here if you guys need anything else.”

”Look,” Claire said as soon as the call had ended. ”Nothing Jody said proves Jake was lying. Helen was traumatized. He didn't want to put her through a meaningless police investigation so he asked the priest to lie.”

Castiel looked doubtful. ”I agree that's a possible explanation. But don't you think it's odd that Helen wasn't reported missing until several months after Heaven was closed?”

”Maybe it took the angel a while to find Helen? Maybe she had another vessel first?”

”Perhaps,” he admitted. ”But I urge you to be cautious. I understand why you sympathize with this man, but that doesn't mean you should trust him. Even if he's not under the angel's control, grief can drive people to extreme measures.” 

”I don't trust him, okay?” She lifted her shoulder in a half-shrug. ”What do you think I'm going to do?”

He let out a sigh. ”What you believe to be the right thing.”

 

It was a forty minute drive, and by the end of it Claire was sure she'd seen enough forest to last her a lifetime. Unlike the name suggested, Ashwood Oaks had a mixture of deciduous and conifer trees. Birches and oaks grew alongside pine and fir trees, blending into a neverending green ocean.

At long last, Castiel turned onto a small dirt road where he parked the car in the shadow of a gigantic fir tree. 

From one of the many pockets in his pants, he pulled out his phone and pointed into the woods. 

”The Johansson farm is a mile's walk in that direction. Anyone we encounter is probably possessed by a demon, so make sure to stay behind me.”

”Yeah, don't worry. I'm not itching to break any more bones. You're the one with the firepower.”

He hadn't said anything when she had left her bag in the room, and he didn't say anything now. The idea of killing people who were possessed didn't sit well with her. She still felt bad about shooting and stabbing the poor guy Tamiel had been wearing. She'd done it to save Castiel, and the guy was probably enjoying his heaven right now, but his death still stained her. Probably always would. 

She followed Castiel on a narrow path through the forest. Moss and wildflowers grew everywhere and she had to lift her feet for shrubs and dead tree branches. 

Every once in a while, he pulled out his phone and adjusted their course. Neither of them spoke, too worried about alerting demons of their presence. Eventually, the forest thinned out and the trees became more and more sparse until the open field spread out below them. A couple of buildings rose in the background: a residential home, stables, and outhouses. Closest to the two of them was a wooden barn, in front of which two men stood. 

Castiel nodded and handed Claire a pair of small binoculars. ”See those men? They are possessed by demons.”

Studying the men carefully through the binoculars, she was struck by how perfectly normal they appeared: their eyes weren't black and they both had bored expressions on their faces like they couldn't believe they had been stuck with such a tedious job. From what she'd seen on TV, barns were usually red, but this one hadn't been painted except for the black spray-painted lines. 

”You were right,” she said quietly. ”They've put up angel warding.” Looking around the rest of the farm she realized it was completely empty. ”Where are the cows? This is a dairy farm, isn't it?”

”The animals probably starved to death some time after Billy was possessed,” Castiel replied clinically. 

Grimacing, she handed the binoculars back. If there was one thing she didn't want to see today, it was cow skeletons. 

His eyes were fixed on the barn. ”The structure of that building looks crude, and it's not on any of my maps, which suggests it's been built recently. I'm certain now that the demons are unable to move the weapon, and have raised that barn to hide it.”

He turned towards her. Killing the demon last night had left a small blood splatter on his hoodie, and he had taken it off to wash it. Now he was wearing it again, a soldier dressed for her battle. 

”There only seems to be these two guards. I'm going to creep alongside that tractor and take them by surprise. Once I signal you, you will come down and destroy the warding. Breaking any part of the line should do it.”

She nodded. ”Please don't kill them.” 

A look of fondness came across his face. ”I won't have to. Two demons are no match for me.” 

Quickly and silently, he climbed down the small slope. She held her breath while he ran towards the protective shadow of the large tractor, but the demons were too busy being miserable to notice. The next second, he disappeared from her sight. 

The sound of soft footsteps behind her broke her focus. She twirled around and found herself looking down at an easily recognizable face.

The angel who was wearing Helen looked puzzled. She tilted her head which did nothing to ruffle Helen's long, smooth hair. 

”What is an empty vessel doing out here?” The angel's intonation was perfectly flat and there was an unnatural depth to her childlike voice. 

Forcing her hands to unclench, Claire held them up, palms facing outwards.

”We can help you. Helen's father is looking for her. We can help you get what you want, so you can return to Heaven and let him take her home.”

The angel studied her carefully. ”Which of my brothers or sisters do you belong to?” 

Claire swallowed thickly. ”Your vessel is a child. She didn't understand what she was doing when she said yes to you. She is suffering. The right thing to do is to let her go.”

There was no change in the angel's expression. ”I am weak. The grace you carry could make me stronger.” 

Claire took a stumbling step backward. ”Just listen to me, damn it! You have to let her go!” 

The angel shook her wrist and the handle of her sword dropped smoothly into her hand. She advanced on Claire, but she suddenly stopped, staring down towards the barn with wide-eyed surprise. ”It's you!”

Claire's head snapped back and she saw Castiel looking up towards them, both demons lying on the ground behind him.

For a brief moment, everything came to a stop. Then there was a bright flash of light and a loud whirring sound. Castiel disappeared like someone had erased him from existence, and when she turned back she found an empty spot where the angel had just been standing. 

Shouts were coming from inside the barn, and Claire turned and ran.

She followed the path until it branched off in different directions, and she tried them out, one by one until she saw the gigantic fir tree in the distance. Castiel was not answering his phone.

The keys had been left in the ignition for a quick departure, and her drive back to town seemed to pass in a blur. 

There was no one in the motel parking lot and she ran up the stairs to their room. After locking the door and mending the salt line, she grabbed the Sharpie. Holding it with both hands to keep it steady, she drew the finishing line on all four symbols. 

Protected from humans, demons, and angels, Claire sat on the bed and tried not to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and constructive criticism are most welcome! :)


	5. Chapter 5

After almost an hour, Castiel finally called. ”Are you in the room?” 

Blinking the tears away, Claire dug her nails into her wrist. ”Yes, I finished the warding. Where are you? Were you banished?”

”Yes. So was the other angel. She's not here,” he added quickly. ”I'm not very far away. I suspect it's because demon blood has weaker magical properties than human blood. Claire, listen to me. I'm going to find a car and drive back. You cannot leave the room until I return.”

She nodded and realized belatedly that he couldn't see it. ”Okay.”

”Did she hurt you?” There was a note of worry in his voice, and she could almost picture the frown lines on his face. 

”She didn't get the chance to touch me, but she said she wanted my grace – your grace. Whatever's left of it. She said it would make her stronger.”

”Claire, I'm so sorry.”

The word was like a slap in the face. ”She recognized you. Could you see who she was?” 

”Yes. She's a specialist. I'm not going to tell you her name because I don't want you praying to her. Not even by accident.” There was a deep sigh on the other end of the line. ”I'm afraid I'm going to need your help.”

Nodding, she looked towards the table where the Sharpie lay. ”To remove the warding.”

”It's more than that. I know what the weapon is. It's called the Eye of Solomon. It's a stone forged from concentrated celestial energy. An angel who knows how to wield it can bend other angels to their will. It's a riot weapon, made to control rogue angels in the case of an uprising. The angel who is possessing Helen has been its keeper for millennia. She knows how to use it.”

”So what do you need me for?”

”The stone was never meant to be taken out of Heaven, but the forger was wise enough to build in some protections. If a demon touches it, the demon and the body it is inhabiting will be annihilated. Likely, this is what happened to Billy's father. But if a human touches it, the stone itself will be destroyed with no harm to the human. You are God's creation, so no heavenly weapon would be designed to target you.”

”Unless the human is possessed by a demon,” Claire muttered. ”What does the angel want with it?”

”I don't know how much she knows about what's happened since the fall, but I believe she wants to use the stone to regain control of Heaven.”

”So?” Claire ground her teeth together. ”If this is an angel-on-angel weapon, I don't care. If it'll get her out of Helen, I'll help her get it.” 

The hardening of Castiel's voice was jarring. He hadn't spoken to her like this in years. ”If the stone is used, it will generate a shockwave that will rip through large parts of Heaven. It will destroy not just angels, but humans as well.”

She gasped. ”Could it hurt my parents?”

”The human heavens are home to billions of souls,” he said more softly. ”The statistical likelihood of your parents' heaven being affected is very small.”

”But you're saying other people are going to die. I mean, permanently die.”

”There are a few things that can destroy a human soul. Celestial energy is one of them.”

She tried picturing it, the kind of force that would tear a soul apart. Ever since Castiel had told her that those who were part of the vessel breeding program got to share a heaven, she'd comforted herself with fantasies of her parents. They were safe and happy, together again after so many years apart. Knowing that they got their fairytale ending had made the loss a little bit easier to bear. Squeezing her eyes shut, she all but whimpered.

”I didn't think seeing her would be like that. She was just... wearing Helen like a change of clothes. I tried talking to her. I told her Helen was suffering, that she was just a kid. But she didn't care. It was like talking to a machine.”

She'd been so used to Castiel, who felt and cared like a human, that she had forgotten the ruthless nature of his kind.

His voice sounded tired. ”Promise that you'll wait for me. Please, Claire.”

 

She paged through _The Enochian_ Myth aimlessly in the vain hope of finding a previously overlooked lead. There was nothing buried on the page, and her eyes were getting tired. Sam's phone had gone straight to voice mail – not that there was any information on angels he could know that Castiel didn't. She hadn't called Jody. She didn't want her to worry when there was nothing to worry about. The motel room, with all its protections, was probably the safest place in town right now. 

Sighing, she closed the book and pulled out her phone again. It had been an hour since Castiel had called her and told her his battery was dying. He had made her repeat her promise not to leave or let anyone in until he arrived.

Madeleine Barrett, from Portland, Oregon, had been a Facebook user by the time of her murder. As always when people died, her wall had been transformed into a memorial page. The condolences were fewer and fewer apart as time had gone by, but when Claire scrolled down, she saw hundreds of them.

”Rest in Peace,” ”I miss you,” ”We'll take care of Helen and Jake,” and various variations on prayers. There was one message from Marjorie Wilkinson, and Claire looked at the photograph of the middle-aged woman who may, or may not, have lied to the police. She kept scrolling.

The posts Madeleine had made before her death were happy and upbeat. She'd posted prayer memes and written about things she felt grateful for. There were many photos of Helen: playing soccer, riding a pony, or baking cookies. There was one photo of the two of them together that seemed to have been taken at a wedding or some kind of festival. They were standing in a garden, wearing similar dresses and blue ribbons in their hair. Madeleine was leaning down slightly and had her arm around her daughter's shoulder as they both smiled towards the camera. It was obvious she had loved Helen very much. 

Claire scrolled back up and looked at the photos of Helen. She would never again be that carefree. Even if they managed to find the angel, even if they somehow forced her to leave, even if Castiel managed to take most of the painful memories away, she'd never be that girl again.

The phone vibrated in Claire's hand and her heart skipped a beat before she answered. ”Jake?”

”I saw the angel!” 

She jolted upright. ”Where did you see her?”

”In my dream. I know it sounds crazy, but it was really her!” His voice was shaking but he also sounded worked up. ”She said I should meet her at a farm outside the woods, and she'll give Helen back!” 

Claire took in a sharp breath. ”You can't go. The reason she wants you there is because the place is protected against angels, and she needs a human to remove that protection for her. There are demons guarding that farm. If you go there, they'll kill you.”

”How do you know that?” He sounded skeptical. 

”Because I've been there. Look, this is what angels do. They walk in dreams, they manipulate people. She's using your love for your daughter against you!”

His breathing hitched. ”I don't care. If there's even a chance she'll let Helen go, I have to take it.”

Claire squeezed her eyes shut. She tried to picture the innocent people up in Heaven. ”She's not going to let Helen go,” she said flatly. ”Angels don't care about the people they possess. Look, my friend Cas, he knows how to deal with angels. You have to let him handle this!” 

”She's my daughter.” He sounded on the verge of tears. ”I can't just sit here and wait for you to rescue her.” 

Her eyes fell on the bag at the foot of her bed. ”Listen, my room is safe. My friend will be back soon. Come over, and we'll wait for him together.”

”Really?” There was a hopeful tone to his voice. ”What room are you in?”

”1217. Don't let anyone see you, okay?”

As soon as the call ended she made a beeline for the bag. The double action revolver Jody had given her was at the bottom. It was small and powerful, safe to handle, easy to shoot. Jody had taken Claire to the shooting range, taught her the Weaver stance, and told her never to aim at a target she wasn't prepared to destroy. 

She stuffed it in the back of her pants and pulled her shirt down over it. Cringing and feeling ridiculous, she clasped her hands. 

”Castiel, I pray to you. Jake is on his way here. The angel visited his dream and told him to go to the farm. The only way I could stop him was to ask him to come over. We'll wait for you together. Don't worry! He's just a human, and I have my gun. See you soon.” She hesitated slightly, unsure on how to end the prayer. ”Amen.”

Briefly, she wondered if that really was the celestial version of hanging up, or if Castiel would hear everything she said from now on. She would have to ask him about that later.

There was a knock on the door and she hurried to open it. Jake's face was pale, but his eyes lit up when he saw her. ”Hello.”

”Hey. Don't step on the salt, okay?”

He looked down, confused, but stepped neatly over the salt line. ”What's it for?”

”To keep demons out.” Claire looked down at the yard to make sure no one had seen him enter. It was completely deserted, and the reception seemed to be closed. She locked the door quickly. 

”Is that for demons too?” He was pointing towards one of the symbols.

She shoved her hands in her pockets which made the handle of the gun press into her back a little. 

”I don't have any coffee, but I could get you a glass of water if you like.” 

He blinked and gave a dismissive wave of his hand. ”I'm fine, thank you.” He looked at her with a frown. ”I didn't even get your name.”

”Claire.” She raised her chin. ”Look, there's something I want to tell you. I was possessed by an angel when I was a kid. I don't want to talk about it, but the gist of it is: I'm okay now. Your daughter will be, too.”

He seemed to shrink back a little and his eyes darted to the ceiling. ”You really think so?”

”Yes. It's going to be tough, but you'll pull through, and the angel won't come for her a third time.” She folded her arms over her chest. ”We'll make sure of it.” 

Back at the diner, Jake's eyes had been bloodshot, but now they were completely clear. He nodded a few times as if to convince himself of something. ”Sit on the bed, Claire,” he said softly, without meeting her eyes.

Claire's heart raced and her arms fell to her sides. She puffed out her chest. ”No.”

He took a few awkward steps and stopped in front of the symbol closest to the door.”This is to keep her out, right?” He scraped along the wallpaper with his fingernail. 

”Don't touch that!” Claire pushed forward and grabbed his elbow. ”Listen, I understand what you're going through, but you're not going to get Helen back this way. You have to trust me!” 

He tried shrugging her off, but she dug her heels in the carpet and pulled with everything she had. ”The angel erased your memories! You can't trust her!” 

Suddenly, his movements stopped, and he turned to her with a puzzled look. ”What are you talking about?”

He had stopped scratching, so Claire eased up. Glancing at the wall, she saw that the warding was still intact. She held up her hands in a placating gesture.

”My friend Cas is an angel, too. Back at the diner, he read your mind, and he saw that your memories had been tampered with. You've already met the angel, maybe more than once, but she's made you forget it. She's been manipulating you all this time. I'm sorry we didn't tell you, but you have to trust me now. Please.” 

Jake had a hurt expression on his face and he took a shallow breath. ”Oh,” he said softly. ”So that's why she did it.” 

He moved away from Claire and started pacing the small room. ”She told me there were angels who had strayed from God's plan, that one of them was here. She knew he would read my mind. That's why she had to alter my memories temporarily. To avoid detection.” He squeezed his eyes shut. ”It was... confusing. But I'm myself again now.” 

Claire's hands had balled into fists without her noticing it. ”And your daughter?” 

Jake's lip curled in disgust. ”My daughter was weak. I knew it was my fault. My wife was strong in her faith, much stronger than me. She had complete trust in God's plan while I suffered from doubts. So when she died, I was unable to give our daughter the spiritual guidance she needed. It was because of me that Helen wasn't strong enough.” 

Something clicked into place, and Claire felt suddenly weak all over. 

”She said no. When the angel came for her, Helen said no.” 

Jake turned his head away. ”I took her to our minister. She explained to Helen over and over again that she had been chosen for a divine mission. That it was God's will that she surrender. But Helen was selfish and weak. I didn't know what to do. So I left her there. For months, we prayed with her. We prayed for her. And then... a miracle happened. She came to faith and gave herself over.”

The look on his face was a mixture of pride and relief. Claire felt tears running down her cheeks. 

”So it was all a lie? That she came back to you? She's been possessed all this time?”

With a sigh, he walked over to the small table and picked up the Sharpie. ”The neighbors noticed Helen wasn't home. I couldn't explain her absence. Lying is a sin, I know. But if I'd been arrested, I wouldn't have been able to come to the angel's aid.” 

He walked over to the symbol on the other wall and crossed it out swiftly. ”She needs what you have inside you. I didn't ask what it was, exactly, but it will help her.” 

Claire felt frozen to the spot. ”Why didn't you help your daughter instead? You were her father! She trusted you!” 

He turned back and looked at her with a puzzled expression. ”I did help my daughter.” His forehead furrowed and he loomed closer. ”You're also chosen. Why don't you understand?” 

”I do,” Claire said calmly.

She reached back and pulled the revolver from her pants. Pointing it at Jake, center mass, just like Jody had taught her; it was the easiest thing in the world. 

A gentle smile spread on his face. ”I already prayed to her. She's on her way, and when she arrives, you can see for yourself how glorious she is.”

”Pray to her again,” Claire said softly. 

His eyes glittered and he held out his hands. ”Esther, I pray-”

Claire pulled the trigger to her. Then she pulled it again. The bullets hit Jake in the chest, two blossoming flowers of flesh and blood. He made a burping sound and staggered backward, grabbing the table on his way down. 

”Esther...” he said again and was then silent. Claire took two steps forward and watched him die. His mouth and eyes were open, and he was looking at something far away. He looked at peace. 

Without letting go of the gun, she reached down and picked up the Sharpie. She stepped over his corpse, to the wall with the broken ward, and drew a new one. 

There were no sounds coming from the yard, no panicked voices of people hurrying to investigate the gunshots. 

It was a bit awkward to clasp her hands around the hilt of the gun when they were shaking so much with adrenaline. 

”Esther!” she screamed. ”Esther, you fucking bitch! It's over. Your assistant is dead. You're not getting the stone. We're going to find you, and you're going to give Helen back, or I will send you straight to hell. Is that understood?”

Panting heavily, she looked around the room. There was no thunderclap or stormwind, no response at all.

A pool of blood had started to form around the corpse. She kicked the body a few times, but there was no satisfaction. 

”Amen,” she whispered.

 

Castiel's knuckles were white on the steering wheel as he sped through town. Claire's longing felt like razors cutting through his consciousness. He wished there was a way he could return to her instantly, that he wasn't confined to this fallible human technology. 

The sun was creeping lower on the sky, and it was a beautiful evening. Yet, there was no one strolling down Main Street, or coming out of the diner. The whole town seemed deserted.

When he reached the motel, he parked the car right at the bottom of the stairs and ran up. The warding inside the room was pushing back at him, an invisible buffer keeping him out.

Frantically, he knocked. ”Claire, it's me!”

There were sounds of movement behind the door, and the warding gave in like a rubber band snapping. He broke the door down. 

Claire was standing in the middle of the room, physically unharmed, with a blank expression on her face. Jake Barrett lay dead on the floor behind her. 

”They sold her out,” she said in an empty tone. ”He and the priest. Helen said no to the angel, but they broke her down over several months and forced her to say yes.”

Castiel felt like he was going to be sick. He grabbed her by the shoulders, somewhat comforted by the tangible proof that she was alive. ”What did he say? Did he know where the angel was?”

It was like Claire hadn't seen him until now. She blinked. ”He said her name. I prayed to her. She knows we're coming.”

There was a mechanic quality to the way she walked over to the bed and picked up her bag, but when she turned, her eyes were wet. She fingered the strap nervously.

”I can't leave her like that.” 

For the first time in years, Castiel wished there was someone left to pray to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm dying for comments! Especially after this chapter.


	6. Chapter 6

”Where is everyone?” They hadn't passed a single car on their way out of town, and there were no people to be seen anywhere. 

”It's not a good sign,” Castiel said grimly and shot her a dark look. ”It's going to be very dangerous from now on. You have to do exactly as I say.”

”I promise. You don't have to worry.”

His jaw clenched. ”I can't bring you back from the dead. I'm not that powerful.”

The sword was still in its sheath, tip resting against the floor mat. Jody had found a blacksmith that specialized in replicas of medieval weapons. 'Hunting is dangerous enough,' she'd said. 'There's no point in stabbing yourself by accident.'

Claire wrapped her fingers around the hilt. ”I understand.” There was something in his expression she'd never seen before, and she realized with a start that he was afraid. ”So what's our plan here?”

”If we're lucky, the demons haven't put up a roadblock. But we should still park further up and find another path to the farm.”

”What about Billy? Won't the police do a search on the farm once they find his body?”

”I hid it very well,” Castiel said gruffly. ”Once it's found, it will all be over.” 

 

They found a utility road and bumped along on it for several minutes until Castiel was satisfied they were far enough away from the main road to avoid detection. After leaving the car, Claire turned and looked at it. It was almost impossible to make out, covered as it was by the shade of the trees and the creeping dusk.

They walked on in silence. The ground was uneven and it was hard not to trip while watching her surroundings at the same time. She kept a look out for anything human shaped, but the forest was as deserted as the town. 

After what seemed like hours, she finally recognized the slow uphill that led towards Billy's farm. She tried to soften her steps and to breathe more quietly as if that alone could save her from demons. When they reached the edge of the forest, Castiel tugged on her arm, and they crouched in the shadow of a large oak tree. 

The last red tendrils of sunlight peeked out over the horizon and it made the display in front of them even creepier. Planted around the barn, spread out evenly, were dozens of people. Even without the binoculars she recognized the motel manager, Stephanie's ex-boyfriend, her sarcastic co-worker, and the young couple from the tourism office.

They were all pretty still, staring blankly ahead. Like human shields, Claire thought. She drew her bottom lip in between her teeth and bit down as hard as she could. ”What do we do?”

”There are too many demons.” Castiel turned to her with a tortured expression. ”I would have to kill the majority of these people.” 

Biting back tears, Claire nodded. ”Let's wait and see if the angel shows up, okay?”

”She won't be able to get past these demons in her weakened state. She'll see them and turn around. Perhaps she already has,” he added as an afterthought. 

The adrenaline was completely washed out of her system now, and Claire shivered a little. ”And she'd just give up?” 

”She might reach out to her fellow angels and surrender. In that case, they'll take her back to Heaven.” He looked at her reassuringly. ”Helen would be left on earth.”

Claire swallowed a whimper and forced herself to look at the barn. ”And these people?” 

”I don't know,” he said softly.

 

They sat in silence and watched the macabre scene of mass possession for what was probably hours. It was a strange sort of stalemate: there was no one to fight and no way to win. The grass was damp with evening dew and Claire's shoulder hurt from holding onto the sword so tightly. 

When the screaming started, she jolted upright. The motel manager, the old man who had treated them so kindly, was on his knees. Castiel gripped her shoulder firmly. ”Wait.”

One by one, the demons fell to the ground, clutching their heads and wailing. Their mouths opened and black smoke poured out as though pulled by some invisible force. The smoke billowed up into the air and blended seamlessly with the dark night.

”Wait here!” Letting go of her shoulder, Castiel slid down the slope quickly and was at the barn just a few seconds later. The screaming hadn't stopped, but now the voices were fully human. The people who had just been possessed were still on the ground, crying out in pain or horror, or both. 

Castiel moved quickly from person to person, laying his hands on them until they were still and quiet. Claire nervously looked around. Movement at the long side of the barn grabbed her attention and she reached for the binoculars, realizing too late that Castiel still had them. 

The two shapes were hard to make out in the dark, but it was clear that one of them was a child. 

After pulling her sword from the sheath, she ran down as fast as she could. ”The angel's here!” she whispered. ”She's got someone with her.”

His eyes widened and he pushed her in front of him. The black lines were barely noticeable in the dark. She dug out her small knife and scraped furiously on the wood.

”That's enough.” Castiel was already touching the handle. ”Stay behind me.”

 

It was so dark inside the barn that she couldn't see her own hand, but the sounds made it clear they weren't alone. Someone was sobbing in the corner. Another person called out for help. There was the rustling of crawling and fumbling all around them. She reached blindly until she caught the hem of Castiel's hoodie. 

After a few seconds, her eyes adjusted and she could make out the shape of him. Ahead of them, a faint light was glowing. 

Claire felt suddenly grateful for the screaming and crying because it covered the noise of her erratic breathing. Her hand was sweaty around the hilt of her sword as she followed Castiel deeper into the barn.

The source of the light seemed to be a glass display case on the ground. A few feet away from it, half turned from them, stood Esther. She appeared to be transfixed by the light. For a moment Claire thought she hadn't seen them, but the illusion was shattered when Esther spoke. 

”It still shines just as brightly, even this far away from home. So do you, Castiel, even though it was you who drove us away. But I, who have always done what Father wanted, have diminished and been forced to resort to foul demon magic.”

Castiel gripped Claire's arm so hard that it hurt her to the bone. ”Don't look!” 

She flinched but couldn't look away. She stared at Helen's girlish features, at her long blonde hair illuminated by the glow. 

Esther turned towards them and Claire screamed. The blue sweater was drenched in blood and there was a hole cut in the chest. It seemed to go all the way through. 

”What did you do, Esther?” Castiel said angrily. 

”When I understood what Metatron was about to do, all I could think of was to protect the jewel. I hurried to get it, but it was too late. When I woke up, I was dazed and far away from home. The jewel was gone. In desperation, I reached out my grace to my true vessel, but it was nowhere to be found. I understood later that she had been dead for months, and I had to settle for the next best thing.” 

She looked down at her hands. ”It's such a small and pitiful vessel, completely dependent on the help of adults. But despite its flaws, it did have one advantage. This method could not have been used with my true vessel.”

”It required the heart of a virgin,” Castiel said in an accusing tone and Claire wanted to throw up. The sword slipped uselessly out of her hand with a thud.

Esther looked at him in surprise. ”And you Castiel, you bring your empty vessel with you everywhere you go. I have to admit that's clever.”

His grip loosened on Claire's arm and he stepped in front of her. ”It's over. I'm not going to let you take the stone.”

Esther clenched her fists and studied them with a detached expression. ”I still have some strength left. Are you sure you want to test me?” 

The light from the stone was strong enough for Claire to see the black shadows spreading out behind Esther. The wings were obscenely large in relation to Helen's small body, but they still made her look majestic.

Castiel charged on Esther with a cry. Claire had never seen his wings before, and it was bizarre to watch them unfurl from what had once been her father's body. 

His blade was in his hand, and he towered over Esther, who ducked and evaded his blow. She held up her hand and there was a deafening boom as he skidded backward on the ground. Bright light flowed from his open palm and hit Esther straight in the chest. Her small body was thrown across the barn in a perfect arc.

”It's over,” he said sharply and the light in his hand faded. ”Surrender, and I'll let you return to Heaven.”

”Never!” Esther screamed, and she sounded exactly like a child throwing a tantrum. ”I'll never surrender to you!”

She stood up as a pillar of light burst from her hand. Castiel was thrown back and she wasted no time turning and running towards the case. Claire heard the glass shatter and the light grew so bright, she had to cover her eyes for a moment.

When she dared to look, Esther's arm was raised and her face glowed with triumph. The stone burned brightly in her hand, and the light spread down her arm until Helen's entire body was glowing. It was magnificent and revolting. 

Suddenly, Esther jerked like she was having a seizure. ”No!”

She tried to let go of the stone, but it seemed to be frozen to her hand. Black veins shot up her neck and she started shaking. Her face was twisted in agony and she let out a bloodcurdling scream as her body disintegrated. The stone landed in a pile of ash.

Claire ran over to Castiel. ”Are you okay?” 

”I'm fine,” he nodded and let her pull him up, although she wondered if he really needed it. 

”What happened?”

”The spell Esther used must have corrupted her. When she touched the stone, the anti-demon protection activated.” He pointed towards where Esther had stood insistingly. ”Claire, please.”

”Are you sure you don't want it?” Angels were definitely assholes, but Castiel was a good guy. Wouldn't it be best if he held on to it?

He let out a shaky little laugh. ”Very sure.” 

She walked over to where the stone lay, still gleaming in the remains of the child she had tried so hard to save. It was smaller than a chicken egg, and the intensity of the light had been dialed back to a soft glow. 

Claire swallowed thickly. ”If the spell corrupted Esther, don't you think... I mean, I-”

”There's nothing demonic about you, Claire,” he said firmly.

Letting go of the breath she'd been holding, she bent down and picked up the stone. It was cool to the touch and weighed almost nothing in her hand.

The light went out like someone had flicked a switch, and it looked like an ordinary piece of rock. She let it fall from her hand and went to retrieve her sword. 

By the guiding light of her cell phone, they worked their way through the terrified people cowering in the dark. Some reached out for them and others tried to pull away in horror. Castiel was gentle with each of them, placing his hands on their faces and laying them down once they were sound asleep. After the last one he stood up, his face starkly white in the light from her phone. 

”They will wake in an hour with the desire to go home, and no memories of their possession. You were right; no one should have to remember something like that.”

She wanted to thank him, but the words felt stuck in her throat, so she nodded and hoped he got it. ”Let's just get out of here, okay?”

 

Nicole was limping in circles outside the barn. Her eyes widened when she saw them. ”It's you! What happened? Did you see her?”

Castiel looked at her furiously. ”Go home, Nicole.”

The excitement she had shown when they first met her had blossomed into fervor. She grabbed his arm frantically, almost screaming. ”It was an angel! Tell me you saw her!” 

With an easy shove, he pushed her away. Claire's hand curled into a fist, but he looped his arm in hers and steered her gently towards the edge of the forest.

As they walked away from the farm, they heard Nicole shouting behind them.

 

Claire watched in the rearview mirror as Castiel walked up to the car. He opened the rear door, placing her duffel and his laptop case on the backseat, before getting in next to her. 

”I've followed Sam's instructions. There is no trace of us left in the room. With the manager being one of the people experiencing memory loss, it will be a while until the body is discovered. I take it the gun is unregistered?” 

”Yes,” she nodded. It had been one of the things Jody had insisted on, strangely enough. ”Thank you.”

His hands clenched on the steering wheel. ”Claire, I need to know. Are you going to seek out the Reverand and confront her?” 

For a moment she let herself fantasize about it: an old-fashioned quest for revenge and she wondered if he'd come with her. 

”No,” she shrugged. ”Wouldn't help, would it?”

As they drove out of town, they saw a handful of people, but none of the ones they had saved. The diner was open and Claire decided it was a good sign. 

Eventually, the forest started to thin out, and she felt a stark relief when it finally disappeared behind them. 

”If we stop for the night, we can be in Sioux Falls tomorrow evening.” He looked at her carefully. ”Is that what you want?”

”I guess.” She took a deep breath and tried to brace herself for what she was about to ask. ”Do you know what happened to Helen?”

He nodded like it was the easiest question in the world. ”Angelic vessels are rewarded with Heaven for their service.”

”But she said no. They made her do it, she didn't want to. Doesn't that-”

”Claire,” he said sharply and his eyes bored into her. ”They will take her.”

The landscape outside the window had transformed into farmland. Freshly plowed fields stretched all the way to the horizon and small barns were scattered throughout. She wondered if Heaven looked like a farm to Billy and his dad. 

”You know,” she said as casually as she could. ”You were lucky I was there to help you today. To deactivate the stone and the warding. If you need it... I could help you out for a while. Not forever,” she added quickly when she saw the surprise on his face. ”I know you're very busy.”

His eyes twinkled and his mouth curved into a smile. ”Yes,” he said. ”I think I might need that.”

 

The sky was dark by the time he pulled up to the motel he'd seen signs for on the highway. It seemed to be a bigger establishment than he was used to, and the vacancy sign was lit. Once he'd parked, he turned the engine off and looked at Claire. She was fast asleep, completely relaxed against the reclined seat. She looked peaceful and very young, almost like the child she'd once been. 

There was no reason to wake her just yet. A feeling of calm came over him and Castiel sat back and rested.

 

A girl scales the climbing frame over and over. Each time she reaches the top she waves at someone and laughs. She's healthy and happy and her blue sweater is clean from blood. 

Claire hurries through the crowd to reach the girl before she leaves the ground again. 

”Hey,” she says. ”Sorry I couldn't save you.”

”That's okay.” Helen shrugs and waves to a woman sitting on one of the benches. ”Thanks for trying.”

”Is that your mom? Say hi to her for me, okay?”

”Okay,” Helen says, but she's already focused on her next ascent, reaching upwards.

For a moment, Claire feels lost, but then her name is called. She looks towards the hill where her parents are sitting on the picnic blanket. The cooler is open and the plates have been set. They're smiling and waving at her, calling out for her to join them.

She runs to meet them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with this story to the end. I'd love to know what you think.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Save Yourself [podfic]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8567065) by [Tenoko1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tenoko1/pseuds/Tenoko1)




End file.
